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Dinner For One

I am so over being the woman that waits around. I don’t want to wait for anyone anymore. I want to play by my own rules now. I’m no longer letting any man have power over me. I know my worth and respect myself. So I’m taking on the challenge of solitude.


I took myself out. I dressed up. I drove into the city and celebrated me. I'm working on romanticizing my life and not by just dating men, but by dating myself and celebrating myself. I'm amazing and beautiful, and whoever I take seriously next will be very lucky. This may sound cocky, but it's the truth. It's my truth.


You have to show yourself grace. You have to big up yourself. You have to be in love with you and all the mistakes you've ever made, before you can give yourself to anyone. As I do all these things right now, I'm learning the difference between loneliness and solitude. I see loneliness as a negative thing, and we all know it can happen even in a sea of people. However, solitude comes from a certain strength within. A strength of saying "party of one," when you walk up to the hostess and feeling hope. Hope that things will get better and you're going to be okay by yourself. I know that sounds like a lot for one statement, but that statement has so much power.


I'm going through one of the hardest moments of my life, but by God's grace I'm pushing through it. So I decided I'm going to take a moment to myself, if not once every week at least twice in a month to enjoy being alone. I make time for everyone else except myself which is actually crazy. I obviously hear my thoughts best when it's just me - and I'm truly learning what I like and don't like during this time. But not sure what it's doing for my grief yet, so I hope I'll know as I keep relearning myself.


I pray that on this new journey I fall more in love with me. I really hope to experience a certain kind of love that I did not know existed before I got into a relationship at the age of 20. So pat yourself on the back Vital Vhannahs because congratulations, we've made it this far!



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