Relationships: Chapter One "Situationships"

I wanted to jump in and give you insight on how Nyare (my boyfriend) and I reconnected. However, then a friend reminded me that there was a road before I even got back to him. One of the things on that road was what we call "situationships," and for those who do not know what that is. Google defines it as a placebo disguising itself as a formative relationship, or in other words people that like to waste your time and lead you on. Excluding those who actually have good reason to be involved in a situationship, but that is only when both people agree and actually want that instead of a relationship.

Those who know who I am, or who I was at a certain time in my life, know I struggled with this topic and for any of my old flames reading this...thank you! You were such a help to giving me better insight to who I could become, a better version of myself for the right person. I did not want to get too personal, but I have almost heard or dealt with it all from baby mothers, cheating idiots, serial liars, and boys (emphasis on boy) that would not know what a real woman was if Michelle Obama walked passed him. All jokes aside I am a Godly women that turns my hope and faith to him, and it took me a while to understand that creating a friendship first does a lot for you. I prayed and prayed, hoping that I would finally meet someone that understood my craziness, loving attitude, and sassiness. I was a person that liked to rush into things, especially because the first guy I put my faith into disappointed me immensely. I was younger, a freshman in college, and was hoping that I would have that fun love story that I could tell my kids some day. He made my life a living hell without realizing he did, but what I learned from that situationship is sometimes our closure is within us.

A conversation with the other person that hurt us does not always give us the closure we need. This goes for relationships, friendships, family situations, anything. We need to learn that we have to find a way to close the chapter without needing the permission of the person that hurt us. We think having that last conversation together is doing something for both us, but tell me...do you feel whole after you two say goodbye or thought you said goodbye the right way? I decided in the middle of my college experience that I needed to be an adult, and find closure within myself. I needed to start looking at things in a better light, and not settling for idiots. Since the boy was not going to give me the closure I needed to move on and find it in myself. Also not being too picky helps in avoiding situationships, because honestly Mr. Right is not REAL. I love my boyfriend so much, but we go through things as well yet he is still perfect for me. I look back and laugh at how I was as a freshman and sophomore in college. I was chasing a fantasy while learning that knowing yourself is more important than knowing anyone else. Now I am a graduate, and still learning me and now someone else while in a relationship.

Do not rush, do not bury yourself in sadness if your situationship does not go right. I learned that my way to be friends first actually works, but it may not work for everyone. You will learn along the way in getting to know yourself as an adult why situationships may or may not work for you. Like my mother always says, he needs to compliment you not complete you. Keep that in mind when navigating your way through a situationship, dating, or relationship.