Healing

I saw someone I love breakdown. I saw someone I love lose their self in a moment. I saw someone finally understand what it means to hit your breaking point. It’s crazy how we can feel so alone in a world full of people, millions of people. I could have so much family, friends, companions and still feel alone. You can be surrounded by so many and still feel like your locked in, almost a prisoner of your mind. It is so important to make sure you feel good, as much as possible. This is something I repeat in many of my posts, because we tend to forget to put ourselves first.

Healing...to heal is to become sound. I do not think I ever understood how important it was to heal until someone I love broke down in front of me. Broke down in front of me to the point I felt the pain and started ugly crying myself. You know the ugly cry with the nasty buggies, and the tears that just do not know how to stop. It is okay to laugh, because I looked ridiculous. We need to understand, having a healing process means everything. I had to do some reading on healing to get a better understanding of what it meant, it is about restoration of health. This can be physical or mental health. It is about restoring a balance in your life. There are many things in this world that can break us, no matter how strong you are. Everyone has a crack or a weakness that tends to strike at the worst times. This can be heartbreak, death, broken relationships, closing a door in your life, etc. Everything takes time to patch itself back together, when whatever it is takes place.

We should take advantage of the process of healing, at times this means breaking yourself down just to build yourself back up again. Sometimes we think this means being alone. NO! This does not mean sit in a corner, binge on ice cream, and watch re-runs of Sex and the City or Insecure. Maybe at least do it one day, but then pick yourself up and clean up (physically and mentally) so you can move on. Get to know “you“ again, understand what you actually want in life, separate yourself SOMETIMES to enjoy being by yourself again, work on your delivery when you are hurt. Just because you are hurt does not mean everyone around you has to feel your hurt, and yes I am taking my own advice. You can be in your twenties, thirty's , your beautiful fifty’s, this advice is for everyone. I am getting a better understanding that in my time of healing right now, and yes I am writing this while battling my own issues. I really had to separate myself from some friends, some family, and sometimes in my relationship - learning how to be me (Savannah) again. I am a clingy girlfriend, first step is admitting you have a problem, and I love spending time with my man/my best friend, but there is an importance in loving being alone with yourself. The support systems around us are for support not for complete guidance, it is important to make decisions on your own. You can get input from those who you think know best for you, but that does not mean run with it. This is the time to balance your options, and weigh which is best. I look to God for guidance and answers, which usually works in the best ways even when I do not like it. To be honest, you are not going to like a lot of things that happen to you in this life, but you have to understand life usually works out in your favor when you are the captain of your ship. When you are not letting others take control of your boat, you are truly living your best life.

So take a look into what healing really is, because it took me having to read online to truly understand how to be the captain of my own life. Learning along the way to not let anyone take control of my boat, because as I travel through different waters - some will be smooth and some will be bumpy. However, at least I know I was the one controlling every step of the way and healing my soul as I entered every chapter of life.